I have to agree with the contempt thing. Women can covet such anger and rage…it’s amazing. With most women nowadays being very clueless and useless altogether, it is very smart that many of us men today are going MGTOW all the way. I just hope we can be more respectful of others’ individuality and prerogatives as we share what happens to work for us.
Well, I had married at 19, but divorced at 28. ButI never dreamed I’d still be unmarried at nearly 56! I’m having an exceptionally hard time getting a man to even notice me in the first place. Even when i do meet someone all they want is to be platonic. Whenever I’ve expressed the desire for romantic love, sex and marriage, I get criticism and told you don’t need a man, you’re a strong Black woman. Never mind everyone around me seems to be partnered up.
And, of course, the ones who are good at selling themselves generally do so by misrepresenting themselves to some extent. When you encounter one of these profiles, you haven’t met your ideal partner. You’ve just met someone who is good at telling you what you want to hear. To make matters worse, most people suck at selling themselves, and do a terrible job of their profiles. There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.
Dating a widow or widower may take patience, a willingness to embrace the spouse who has died, and a commitment to step gingerly when it comes to introductions to friends and family. The result, though, can be a positive, successful alternatives to Spoil bond. Writing your profile and sending messages is a creative endeavor, and if you don’t get it right you’re looking at another Friday night alone. For instance, you may be wondering why OurTime didn’t make the cut.
My point is that I’ve had a few loooooong relationships and been married — basically always had a committed relationship when I wanted one — and I realize I’ve been lucky that way. The rest and my ex-hub were good people and we just wanted different things. I have decided that the best course of action for me is to simply focus on my children and to raise them as best as I can without a “mother” role model. It truly is unfortunate for the children to be in this position, but I have not lost the perspective of family and commitment, like so many seem to do when mid-life comes knocking. I just cannot seem to find like-minded women. It appears that the perspectives of freedom have been defined as being alone, rather than being free to love and to be loved.
In fact, there are many particular challenges that come with dating as a 50-something. Here, therapists, relationship coaches, couples counselors, and more explain why dating is so much harder at mid-life. Relationships with sugar daddies (which wonks prefer to call “transactional sexual relationships”) are different from sex work.
In my experience , Men can tick along normally until they meet me and say those immortal words ” I feel I can talk to you” ….a big red flag. This is subtext for ” No matter how normal I appear on the surface, you are about to become the catalyst and custodian of some inner demon or dark secret that i’ve managed to contain for years” . I would like to find a sane man to share my life and home with. I have decided to forget all the “Wish list” BS, and look for a normal guy that likes women and want a mutually respectful, loving relationship. By the time women are in their 50s, the kids are gone, the house is made in their image, and they have established all the rules. Noting causes more divorces than the Empty Nest.
I love my independent life and I love the times we share together at least twice a week for a date and then a sleepover taking turns at each other’s house. We share costs of date, holidays etc. he is so loving and supportive but I have an acute awareness potentially I could loose myself by committing long term. Not to mention all the family dynamics just to scary I think. I believe many woman in my age group will relate to this. In addition to online dating, I’ve tried the novel approach of meeting men in person – at a speed dating event.
You feel out of practice.
I’ve met too many women who want a winer and diner, or a contractor/mechanic with very little reciprocation from their end. There are plenty of women who still want to be “taken care of” by a man, but offer very little in return. It’s really too bad, because for those of us who are truly independent…even little gestures go a long way. Bigger ones go even further, especially if you aren’t crazy.
Neither of us desires more from our relationship. In our case, quality definitely counts more than quantity. I thank Karma every day for sending this quietly confident and wonderful man my way. I know that if our relationship should come to an end, it will be done in a respectful and loving manner.
Hilarious that older women blame the men when clearly it’s the young girls who are the hunters. Wow if the Mars rover could handle millions of people we really could have separate planets. Im a guy of 63 and probably an outlier in that I just never did like the dynamics of dating so didn’t. Had my business, a daughter who was grown, but part of my life, and don’t really need someone to unload my “day” on. I’m not sure what the point of it all is, but I had recently thought, maybe I should give it a second look..
“It depends upon the individual and their development and history. That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom.” A range of generation gap-related issues can be easier to bridge when you’re over 40 as well. “The older you get, the less of a challenge it’s likely to pose,” Lester continues. “In terms of life experience and maturity, an age gap at 50 or 60 isn’t particularly dramatic.” Having a big age gap doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is bound to fail. Open communication about life goals and expectations can help you and your partner build a foundation of trust and respect.
It’s just a choice and nothing personal. I’m sorry if reading this is upsetting and/or ire-inducing to female readers. I feel bad saying it, and I really wish I found older women hot because my unwanted ‘standards’ have done me no good. I’ve tried just thinking more positively about less attractive women, but it doesn’t work- lust is lust, and I don’t think you can talk yourself into attraction. It is true the younger women get all the looks and attention. Women have told me I’m attractive and but now I date rarely since I have never found any relationship permanent.
I never seemed to have this freedom when I was dating someone. I always felt like the relationship was just another thing to “work” on. I felt lost, shortchanged, and essentially like my needs, wants, dislikes, and what I was looking for never mattered. I don’t think I met one man since my husband passed, where it was just simple and natural and easy…..like it should be. I don’t want to sound self involved, but I’m attractive…not drop dead gorgeous, and I’m not the barbie doll typebut I’m happy with my physical appearance. 5’6, about 130 (gained fifteen pounds when I quit smoking, and I have a low thyroid….so that put a few pounds on too. Working on getting back down to around 115ish, because that is the weight I feel best at).